Groom insists on 'Cadbury purple' wedding theme despite not helping to plan, lashes out when fiancé refuses: 'It doesn't go with anything'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 19, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Choosing wedding colors can be a big deal, and there are not a ton of ways you can deviate from the norm. There is a very limited swath of socially acceptable wedding colors, and they usually range from pastel blue to… pastel pink. Sure, you can have some flashes of color here and there but it's far from common. But I'm not the gatekeeper of the norm. Heck, I don't care whether you walk down the aisle in a Batman suit. As long as both people who are getting married can agree on it. You might have different tastes from your soon-to-be spouse, but planning a wedding is a perfect opportunity for compromise, something you'll be doing a lot of during your marriage. 

But that's not what happened to one couple whose discussion about wedding colors unleashed an argument that was so heated strangers on the internet had to get involved. Read on for the story.

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    Cheezburger Image 10389146880
    via Skye Studios
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    AITA for not budging on my wedding colour scheme.
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    First time Reddit post, long time Reddit lurker. Made a fresh new account just to post this.
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    So my fiancé(F34) and I(m27) have been dating for almost 5 years and have been engaged for about 9 months, we've recently started discussing about planning the wedding, I'll be honest she's doing a great job in planning it out, setting the budget, arranging venue viewings, etc. She is doing the majority of the planning herself and as it's her big day I'm just letting her choose what she wants.
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
  • 05
    We've recently gotten to the stage where we have to talk about colour schemes for my suit accessories and the bridesmaids dresses. My favourite colour is Cadbury Purple, it always has been. So I said I want that, at first she just said "okay" and we moved on. It then got to the point where she was suggesting different types of colours we
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    could have, "lilac, peach, sage green, baby blue". I said "I already told you I want Cadbury purple". She said that I can't have Cadbury purple because it doesn't go with anything. I said im fine with her picking and choosing everything to do with the wedding but the only input I want to add is what I will be wearing.
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    She started to get into a strop, saying that I'm making it difficult and asking if we can just compromise and I said that it wouldn't be compromising if it's not the colour I want. I said if I don't have Cadbury purple then I don't care what colour I have and she should just pick it herself and not pretend that I have a say in the wedding when I clearly don't.
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    So am I the for wanting to stick to the only input I want to have in our wedding.
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    I am not wanting a full purple suit as most people are imagining, even though I do like the joker I don't want to be cosplaying him on my wedding day. The idea I had was very simple, plain black trousers, white shirt, purple tie and a white blazer.
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    For extra context the main reason my fiancé isn't keen on the colour is because it doesn't go with the aesthetics of our venue, it's a beautiful modern rustic barn with fairy lights and bright atmosphere, she believes that the colour I chose will contrast too much in what she envisioned.
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    To the people saying that because we can't pick a colour we shouldn't get married, we're not going to let a colour scheme end our relationship.
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    I understand that my taste may not be the best. I've never been one to care about how I look and I don't really wear anything special other then football tops and joggers, but I do like my idea of what I want to wear and I don't think it's too outlandish and if you do then, hey your entitled to your opinion on that.
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    I also don't know if I explained it too well, with the planning itself we are very very early stages, we've not even set a date yet. All the work which has been done so far is budget, a few venue viewings, guest list(which I did have an input in) and starting to pick a colour scheme. Just for those who were berating me in
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    the comments saying that she has done all this work by herself, and I'm making it harder for her. the work hasn't begun yet. I've told her if she wants my input on anything I'll help but I don't want to get in her way of having the wedding she wants.
    via u/Haunting-Raisin988
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    Trick_Delivery4609.23 hr. ago If you guys can't compromise on wedding colors, your marriage doesn't look too promising. It is soooo much harder once you get married.
    via u/Trick_Delivery4609
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    Would you consider purple ties? Purple flowers or decor? I think that deep purple could go with lots of things or even her bridesmaids dresses. She probably just wants you to wear a "normal" black suit or something more normal. Sit her down and ask. Do you HAVE to wear all purple or just a piece?
    via u/Trick_Delivery4609
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    ChiltonGains 23 hr. ago • YTA. Not because you want to have your purple suit stuff, but because you're not involved with any of the other planning. You can't just plan one thing and then leave everything else to your fiancé.
    via u/ChiltonGains
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    Cause of course your pick is going to clash with everything else! You boxed yourself into a corner by not being involved in any of the other decisions. Now your previous color scheme doesn't go with anything else! If that's something that's important to you in the wedding, you gotta be involved in the rest of the planning!
    via u/ChiltonGains
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    Severe_Chicken213 23 hr. ago YTA. You've dumped the burden of planning everything on her, then give her the challenge of trying to incorporate Cadbury purple into a decent colour scheme. She's offered several compromises of non traditional colours, so it's
    via u/Severe_Chicken213
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    not that she wants to stick you in traditional black, she just can't figure out how to plan a wedding with Willy Wonka. But you're unwilling to work with her at all. You've only contributed to one decision, and it's now dictating the rest of the wedding that you aren't even planning.
    via u/Severe_Chicken213
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    Judge JudyScheindlin 23 hr. ago LOL this one is hilarious. Buddy, you don't get a say if you don't help with the planning, plain and simple. You get to come in and make an executive decision and then she needs to source suits, decorations, and other wedding items in your specific Cadbury
    via u/JudgeJudyScheindlin
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    purple? Ridiculous! If you were an active participant in the wedding planning process that would be different, but you're sitting back and letting her do all the work so you can just show up day of and enjoy yourself. 10000 percent YTA.
    via u/JudgeJudyScheindlin
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    RecipeDangerous3710. 22 hr. ago "I said that it wouldn't be compromising if it's not the colour I want." That's the literal opposite of the word compromise, lol. If she's picking everything and you're taking a backseat, it's kinda douchey to dictate a colour, which will then influence everything else. YTA.
    via u/RecipeDangerous3710

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Wedding Themes family drama bride marriage groom wedding party crazy groom wedding colors mean wedding purple story brides wedding cake family reddit thread Reddit weddings
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